I got the phone call today that my 18-month-old daughter is not allergic to peanuts. Yay right? Wrong. Since I got the phone call that Isabelle is not allergic, I can’t stop crying. I don’t know if it’s tears because I’m happy or tears because my daughter can lead a normal life but my son can’t. Just typing those words made me cry more so I’m going to guess it’s the latter. Although I am completely and utterly ecstatic that Isabelle is not allergic, it hurts me so much to think that Alex is. I have felt guilty ever since this whole testing thing started that I was wishing and praying for her to be clear of this allergy. Now that she is I feel terrible that Alex isn’t. I know this will pass and eventually we will get back to our regularly scheduled lives but right now I’m conflicted. Joy and pain all at the same time.